I was on my own and planned to ride Gran this morning so I was out in the paddocks first thing. I was feeling well (health wise) but very nervous about getting on, wondering what she was going to do.
Well, after the floating issue yesterday she wouldn't even come! Definitely not a good start. Food wouldn't entice her and as I had no plans of doing both ride and float training on the same day she wasn't to know this wasn't going to be an issue. I didn't have a halter with me as she just follows me most days so I didn't think it would be necessary. I also thought if Teddy came to the food so would she. Well Teddy and Gran must have had words as Teddy wasn't coming for the food either. Both my horses are guts, especially Gran, so this was highly unusual. They would get close but then back off. At one stage they both ran back to the back paddock. I finally went and got a halter and just went up and caught her.
Straight off she started with the snorting. I got her groomed, saddled her up and got everything ready and started just leading her around. She snorted often and just the sight of the float, which she wasn't actually near, had her backing away. I kept her attention and then after some simple ground work I took her to the mounting block. It was Teddy Deja vu! Every time I went to put my foot in the stirrup she would step sideways. Teddy used to do this constantly! She stepped sideways, forward, around the block, snorted a few times and was basically driving me nuts. I was already anxious which wasn't helping but this was making me shake inside. I tried putting my weight on the stirrups, draping myself over the saddle (if I could reach), getting off the block and positioning her, leading her from on top of the block... nothing was working. I was feeling my anxiety turn to anger. I tied her to a post and went and got my crop. When we started again she continued with her antics and I would tap her back into place with the crop. She doesn't like crops either, not that I've ever harmed any animal with one, I do no more than taps, but I didn't even have to touch her most of the time, she would just move as it came towards her side with her head held high. Finally after only a minute or two with the crop and some reassurance from me she stood still and I got on. Challenge one complete.
Next I was hoping she wasn't going to buck me and was talking to myself to relax. I didn't feel as much tension in her back as the day she bucked me off but I could still feel tension. Again, I realise I was probably just as tense so was really trying hard to suck it up. I moved her on and once I got her into a consistent walk I relaxed. It was probably only a minute but it was a very long minute for me. Then I felt calm and things were great! I felt like I was back to normal. Challenge two complete.
We worked on position in a walk, diagonals at a walk and trot, changing diagonals, figure eights and finished with some cantering on either side. We are both out of practice so it was only about a 30 - 40 minute session but we did great. And Teddy only called out to her once! Challenge three complete.
Everything else was normal after that and I was pleased that I faced my fears. I don't think I will be as concerned on Thursday when we try again. I'm amazed at how one minor broken bone has shaken me so much but I'm determined to get past it. Doing it on my own was 75% of the fear that today help enormously.
The only other issue I have is the impact on my SLE (systemic lupus erythematosus). This illness tires me out and luckily I'm still on annual leave so can rest when needed. I set out this morning at 8.30am and it is now 2.30pm and I am stuffed! It is going to be a lot of trial and error before I work this one out. It will be worked out regardless.
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